Stop Beating Yourself Up: How to Complete Tasks Without the Backslides, the Bullshit, or the Burnout

Hello and welcome back, my friends. Today we're talking about common struggles neurodivergent people have with completing tasks, which is something I'm often asked about. Task completion problems wreak such havoc on neurodivergent adults' lives, largely because they don't seem difficult to solve, and yet they are — even when we give our best effort to following advice, using technology, and being more disciplined. It can also be confusing because, for most of us, task completion feels like an uneven playing field; we do some tasks easily, and others seem almost impossible to finish — or even start. That's true for everyone to some extent, but many neurodivergent people are exceptionally effective in some tasks, and miserably inept in others, and the discrepancies don't correspond to generally perceived difficulty. In other words, certain tasks that are seen as difficult may come very easily to a neurodivergent person who struggles considerably with completing tasks most people see as very easy to do.

Even when you're very good at something hard, there's a lot of shame about being "bad" at easy things. That shame fuels the feeling many of us have that we don't measure up to other people, that something is wrong with us. But if you've watched or listened to other podcast episodes, worked with me directly, or followed my work, you know where I stand on that as a neurodivergent adult myself, having raised a neurodivergent child, and as a psychologist and expert in this field: There isn't anything wrong with neurodivergent people. That assessment comes from being measured — by ourselves and others — against standards that don't apply to us. Imagine measuring important details of a construction project using a misprinted tape measure, then being berated for the resulting errors, and neither you nor anyone else even thinks to check the tape measure. That's how this works.

We have strengths and challenges like everyone else, but because we've been taught to see our challenges as flaws, we're always trying to fix them, or spiraling in despair and overwhelm because our continuous efforts to fix them fail. It's like running to grab something 10 feet in front of you, except you are on a treadmill that never stops, so even if you run harder, faster, more deliberately, with better form, and without ever taking a break, you'll never succeed to grab that thing. If you just had the thought, "I would get off the treadmill, walk over, and grab it," welcome to the conversation. That's exactly what I'm talking about.

The problem isn't you; it's the treadmill, and the solution is to get off it. The solution is to stop wasting your energy trying to do what it seems like everyone else is doing, the way they're doing it, and in the same timeframe. The solution is to connect what you do to who you truly are, not who you think you should be, and I'm going to give you a way to start doing that today. This isn't a new productivity program, or a guide to increasing your motivation. It's not a pep talk either, even though I'm peppy and always cheering you toward a happier, easier life. This is a pattern interruption, a hand outstretch to help you off the treadmill, a rebellion against the conventions that make people think the best and only way to do something is the way everyone else is doing it.

By definition, those conventions work for most people, and maintaining them makes people predictable, persuadable, and governable. But if every person followed them, there would be no houses, no boats, no planes, trains, or cars, no electricity, no phones, no radio, television, computers, or internet, no medicine, no clothes or shoes, no agriculture, no recorded history, no art, poetry, literature, or music. You get the idea.

That's not to say that every person behind human innovation was neurodivergent, though many of them are suspected or confirmed to have been, and to be sure, each of them saw or thought about or did something differently than everyone else. They WERE different than everyone else, and we've all benefited from that. Though all neurodivergent people are unique, we can all choose to see the ways we're each different from everyone else as benefits — to ourselves and potentially to others. That applies to everything, from inventions that change the course of human history, to revolutionary perspectives, to getting your laundry done before you run out of clean underwear, so let's get back to the topic of task completion.

Keeping in mind that all neurodivergent people function uniquely, generally speaking, neurodivergent people tend to be most effective completing tasks that are self-directed, are aligned with our interests, and/or provide immediate rewards. I'll say a bit more about each of those so you can think about if and how they apply to you.

Neurodivergent people tend to be more motivated and more effective when we're doing what we want to do and nobody told us to do it. You may be able to laugh about that, and I hope you can, because if it's true for you and you aren't laughing about it, you are probably beating yourself up for something that's actually a predictable brain pattern. And if it's true for you, you're in good company, because many neurodivergent people are really good at doing things when we're in control of the process, beginning with IF we do something, and including HOW we do it. If that's true for you, but you don't know or accept it about yourself, it can cause a lot of problems, but it isn't "bad" or "wrong" unless we give it that power, and most of us were handed that powerlessness so early we didn't even realize we had a choice, but we do.

Another layer is added for tasks that are related to our interests, which doesn't just mean binge watching every episode of the newest season of a favorite show the day it drops. It can also mean adhering to strategies, routines, or systems of organization that matter to us. This could be a person who has limitless focus when editing documents for grammatical errors, someone who does exactly the same things in the same order every morning before work, or a person who keeps their closet in meticulous, color-coded order.

Any of those hypothetical people could have a stack of mail they've been adding to but not going through or opening for weeks, a state-of-the-art security camera they've been meaning to set up since they received it for Christmas, and so many Post-it notes with To-Do items on their bathroom mirror, they can barely see themselves.

Neurodivergent people are also very good at doing things that give us "quick wins," either because we can complete the entire task quickly, or we experience many small victories while completing the steps of a task. We often think, and may even be told, that's because we only want to do things that are easy, but it's actually due to real differences in our brain chemistry.

On the other hand, neurodivergent people tend to struggle with, or avoid, tasks that are externally imposed, that we find boring or unnecessary, and that are unclear or undefined. This includes tasks that are objectively easy or commonly understood to be important, which is why we and others can be dumbfounded by the disparity between what we seem capable of doing and what we can't seem to get ourselves to do.

In general, neurodivergent people are less inclined to follow directions for following directions' sake, though other people's reactions to that cause many of us to become people-pleasers, which isn't a personality trait. People-pleasing is a defense mechanism, a skill developed subconsciously to protect us, but that doesn't change that we're authentically wired to think differently, and often independently. This is frequently interpreted as defiance or laziness, but it comes from an intrinsic prioritization of meaningful action over compliance.

For that reason, we also tend to have difficulty with tasks we think have no purpose, that are uninteresting, or that we're required to do a certain way that we perceive to be wrong or inefficient. Tasks like these may not even register as an important enough to do, or we may become preoccupied with how senseless we perceive the activity to be, or with the flaws in the required procedures — to the extent that we don't get around to doing the task at all. If you've ever been told that you're making something harder than it has to be, you know what I'm talking about. You may even be aware that you are in your own way, but when something seems senseless or pointless, our nervous systems slam on the brakes — not in resistance, but in refusal to waste energy.

Something similar happens when tasks are vague or confusing, whether that applies to why it needs to be done, how it needs to be done, or the outcome of it being done — or not. For some of us, a lack of clarity can prevent a task from even being on our radars, while others of us will direct our energy toward understanding and operationalizing the task rather than doing it. A lot of character judgment gets assigned when these patterns are noticed — by others and ourselves. We're told, and we think, we're "lazy," "obstinate," "insubordinate," "unmotivated," "disrespectful, that we "only care about ourselves," but none of that is true. And if you don't believe that, try this on for size: Being told those things, and thinking about yourself in those ways, doesn't help at all. If it did, you would've turned it around years ago. We all would have. I wouldn't be writing this episode, and you wouldn't be reading it.

What IS helpful is to understand the ways your brain works, especially the aspects of your brain functioning that diverge from what is typical, expected, and experienced by "everyone else," or the majority of people. Those aspects vary between types of neurodivergence and individual people, but there are some commonalities. I'll quickly go over three of those before I jump into strategies for getting off the treadmill and getting things that matter to you done.

First of all, neurodivergent brains are often monotropic, which means that our attentional resources are directed toward one thing at a time — even though for some of us, the one thing we're focused on can change almost second by second. Our attention being directed to one thing can result in incredible creativity, productivity, and effort towards certain objectives, but can also cause us to pursue or engage in things that are harmful or distract from our obligations, to lose time, to neglect relationships, and to dodge or miss out on experiences and opportunities because one aspect is unpleasant. Neurotypical brains are generally polytrophic, which means they can adapt to having multiple, simultaneous demands on their attention, so they're more able to ignore distractions, consider multiple aspects of a situation, shift their focus, and keep their actions aligned with their larger priorities.

The difference between monotropic and polytrophic brain functioning can be the difference that prevents you from remembering to do something your spouse told you was really important, being able to tune out distractions to finish a work project before the end of the day, keeping your cool instead of ruining it for everyone when something unexpected disrupts your carefully planned family vacation, or prioritizing your car registration over the VIP meet-and-greet tickets that were just announced by your all-time favorite recording artist.

Many neurodivergent brains also function in accordance with PDA, which was originally conceived as Pathological Demand Avoidance, but many of us prefer to see it as the Pervasive Drive for Autonomy. It manifests in a deep and persistent need for independence, choice, and agency over ourselves and our circumstances. PDA is largely inherent, but is also influenced by common, early experiences of our authentic preferences, needs, rhythms, and processes being corrected, opposed, and obstructed.

There are also differences in neurodivergent brains' chemical reward systems. Namely, our brains tend to react more strongly to "feel-good" neurochemicals — primarily dopamine — that are released when we do something that feels good, which includes accomplishing something, even if it's small. When we aren't accomplishing anything or doing something that feels good, we experience a greater deficit of "feel-good" neurochemicals, which makes our brains want us to do whatever will get them back, even when we know other things are more important. It's an oversimplification, but still accurate, to think of it this way: Our brains make us chase dopamine the way our lungs make us get oxygen. It's involuntary, not irresponsible, but that's hard to remember when you've been busy all day, but somehow haven't made a dent in your To-Do list. On top of that, when you're trying to understand the neurochemical betrayal your brain puts you through, there's no shortage of people who tell you you're just making excuses.

They're wrong. No one would deliberately choose to do things all day without getting anything done. We do that because all the activities that burned up the day produced bursts of dopamine faster, more frequently, and more reliably than the things we "should" have been doing, and each flood of dopamine drives people to get the next one. That's irrefutable brain science, period. It's not laziness. It's not irresponsibility. And it's sure as hell not manipulation. Anyone who refuses to understand that, and sees your struggles only as indications that you need to fix yourself, doesn't deserve you. You can tell them I said so, and have them send their complaints to DrJess@StopBeingAnAsshole.com.

Okay, we've gone over some of the differences that often impact task completion for neurodivergent people. Just knowing how your brain works can make a huge difference, the same way it would if you felt sick every day, and nothing you tried helped, and then you found out you're allergic to something you'd been putting in your morning smoothies; except in that example, you can just stop adding that ingredient. Understanding your brain won't change the fact that you've got shit to do. I truly get that, so I'm going to give you some strategies you can start using, or adapting to fit your life, to reduce the backslides, the bullshit, and the burnout that comes from trying to do things the ways we've all been told we should, instead of how it works best for you to do them. For clarity, I'm going to talk about these in two categories: routine tasks and novel tasks.

We'll start with routine tasks, which include anything you do, or want to do, regularly. Even if you don't think of yourself as having routines, or even wanting to have routines, if you're having trouble doing what you want to get done, I'm going to encourage you to create routines around those tasks if there are things you want to do on any kind of a repeated schedule. That's not because I think you need more discipline, or to get it together, or make your life more palatable for others, but for the plain and simple reason that routines eliminate decision fatigue. In other words, when tasks become routines, or habits, you no longer waste energy deciding whether you will or won't do them, which frees up energy our brains can use for other things, and the time to do them.

Whether you see yourself as spontaneous, impulsive, and unable to follow any routine, or consider yourself to be a highly structured creature of habit, there may be a few — or many — routine tasks that you consistently avoid, leave unfinished, or get through only with significant effort and time. To make things even more complicated, neurodivergent people are often BOTH disciplined AND disorganized, rigid AND chaotic, in love with structure AND at war with rules. That paradox makes routines tricky as hell, largely because we're still giving ourselves choices — usually LOTS of choices — and the time and energy we need to do the thing is used just deciding if, how, and when we'll do it. There are some things that I still fall into this trap over, so I'd like to say, on a personal note, what the fuck?

I mean, honestly, if you take a bird's eye view of yourself doing that, it's ridiculous. Maybe you really want to do a yoga or meditation session every evening before you go to bed. It pops into your mind several times during the day, and early in the day, you think, "Yes! This is the day I start. It's gonna be great!" Later in the day, your thoughts about it start shifting to something like, "Man, this day has been rough. I hope I can still fit it in," and then to, "If I make time for it tonight, I'm either going to have to leave something else undone or go to bed later, and tomorrow's going to be another long day." Throughout the evening, the negotiations intensify, though it may almost be in the background of your thoughts, so you're not even completely aware that you're going back and forth about why you should do it, why you shouldn't do it, how you could do it in less time, what you could do in less time so you have the full time to do it the way you planned, and so on. By the time you go to bed, the same amount of time has passed as if you had done the yoga or meditation, but you didn't, and odds are you didn't complete anything else in its place, and you probably didn't even actually make a decision at all, but just realized eventually that the decision had been made by your inaction and the passing of time.

It's no wonder we get frustrated with ourselves, but that kind of frustration isn't good for us, especially when it feels like it's constant, so let's do something about it. Depending on what's tripping you up — which could be just one or two routine tasks, or essentially everything you do every day — I want you to write them down, or type them into a document. Studies consistently show that all neurotypes benefit from putting their thoughts in writing, so get those tasks out of your head and somewhere you can see them.

Then for each of them, ask yourself, and really answer this question: Why does it matter? As neurodivergent people, many of us are accustomed to prioritizing things other people tell us we should do, or should care about doing, and it takes a lot of reflection, effort, and time to undo that. If there are tasks on your list that don't actually matter to you, but you think you should do them, cross them the hell off. Without even knowing you, I can tell you that you've spent long enough trying to do what someone else said you should. If that was working out for you, you wouldn't be reading this. It's like continuing to put that ingredient you're allergic to in your morning smoothie because you keep hearing how good it is for people. Nothing applies to everyone — the same way or at the same time — and if you're an adult, there's no reason to be castigating yourself for not doing something that doesn't matter to YOU.

Don't lose sight of the fact that things matter to us for different reasons. They may matter to you directly, such as getting off electronics and going to bed by a certain time every night because you're exhausted, every day, and know you're not getting enough sleep. But some things matter indirectly. For example, if your relationship with your partner is very important to you, and your partner is really bothered by dirty dishes in the sink or left around the house, washing your dishes right after you use them matters, even if it's not something you would care about otherwise. Or maybe you want to be better about completing a task you're expected to do daily at work but that you think is unnecessary, and actually kind of stupid, but you otherwise really enjoy your job and your compensation. That task matters because it's part of keeping the job.

Clarifying why specific routine tasks matter, and eliminating those that don't, might immediately make it easier to do those tasks consistently until they become routines, both because you might have fewer of them, and because you've brought what matters to you into focus. But it also helps to refer to those tasks when you think about them, talk about them, and however you list or schedule them, according to why they matter. You could put a Post-It on the kitchen cabinet that says, "Show Susie you love her by doing your dishes right after you eat." Or you could create an appointment in your daily work calendar that says, "This is a great job! Stop what you're doing and file your reports." Of course, you should write whatever makes sense to you, but the idea is to highlight why a task matters, not the task.

Most of us don't respond well or consistently to arbitrary pressure, but we're great at responding to purpose, so put that monotropism, PDA, and dopamine-seeking to work for you. It won't take all the challenge out of establishing routines, but every time you do something that matters to you will make it easier to do it the next time, so don't give up — even if you struggle. You may feel like you always fail at whatever you try to do, but this time is different, because you are honoring yourself by focusing on what matters to you, and allowing yourself to let go of what doesn't. That's not just A gamechanger; it's THE gamechanger, but it's still a process.

If it doesn't get easier, one of two things is likely to be happening. First, you may be trying to establish too many routines at once, which is understandable if your list of routine tasks that matter is long. But we can only shift so much so fast, so scale back, and know you're not failing; you're just overloaded. Sometimes we need to do less in order to do better. Or to put it in another way, sometimes the solution is to try easier, not harder. Start by focusing only on the routine task or tasks that are most important to you, or with the ones that are easiest, since those successes will give you momentum to take on the harder ones. Thanks, dopamine.

It can also be helpful to enlist the support of another person, though that can be incredibly difficult, even if there are willing people in your life, because asking for help has been coded as failure for most of us, and unlearning that is its own damn task. Many of us are so hardwired to avoid the pain of criticism and rejection that it feels impossible to admit to another person we're struggling or need support. On top of that, deeply ingrained people-pleasing combines with exhaustion so that, even when we have a crystal clear understanding of why a task matters, we may not do it at all if no one else is aware of the task or affected by it.

Building in accountability can make the difference, but it has to be REAL accountability, because odds are, you're smart — and maybe sneaky — enough to outmaneuver any half-ass system you impose on yourself. Those skills developed out of necessity to help you get your needs met, not from maliciousness, so don't get caught up in that, but do make your accountability as foolproof as you can. That means you probably don't want to tell a friend who's extremely passive and never remembers to follow through with things that you are going to send them a weekly checklist of your new routines, because they probably won't notice, or call you on it, if you don't, or if you checked off that you went to the gym every day after work, even though you met that very friend for drinks after work twice last week. Instead, ask your super-reliable, schedule-following nightowl friend to text you at 11:05 p.m. every night so they get a message that you've silenced your notifications when you said you would, or send your dad your location from the park where you're going to take a walk every morning.

To increase the impact, set it up so you owe the person money for every day you don't supply that agreed upon proof. Pick an amount that's possible, but hurts. Otherwise, you'll be back to making daily decisions about FaceTiming your sister while you floss your teeth or Venmoing her 5 bucks, which may seem well worth it after a particularly long day. If your person doesn't want to take your money, ask them to donate it to something you do NOT support. Oral hygiene matters a hell of a lot more when your failure to floss means 50 hard-earned dollars will be contributed to the campaign of a politician you loathe. If losing money isn't an option or doesn't motivate you, incorporate something that does. For every missed task, do an hour of housework at your best friend's house, or let your teenager decide what you have to do in a TikTok video.

Money, time, dignity — pick your currency. Not to punish yourself, but to make it a no-brainer to do the things you decided are worth doing while you're creating the routines. However you create accountability, add it to whatever kind of reminder you use, like an alarm in your phone that reads, "Go to the gym so you can keep up with your future grandchildren — and don't have to give Tom another 20 bucks." Once a routine is established, you won't need the accountability, or it can be far less frequent. And if the whole process makes it apparent that a task doesn't actually matter to you, directly or indirectly, let it fucking go. You've got way better things to do with your energy, time, 20 bucks, and social media reputation.

Now, let's talk about completing novel tasks, and by that I mean anything you need or want to do that doesn't repeat, or doesn't repeat frequently enough to be a routine. You know, the kind of tasks that haunts your To-Do list for 6 weeks, then ambushes you the night before you absolutely have to do it. Again, we're talking about tasks you have trouble completing, knowing that some novel tasks will be easy to do. Start the very same way you did with routine tasks, by writing or typing the things you haven't done, and asking yourself: Why does this matter? Keeping in mind that it may matter to you directly or indirectly, or it may not matter to you at all. If a task doesn't matter, kiss a goodbye, cross it off your list, get it out of your head, and make no apologies for not doing it.

If a task does matter, deliberately shift your focus from the thing you've been struggling to do to what's actually at stake by incorporating why it matters into the way you think about it, talk about it, and remind yourself to do it. I am not kidding about that, because it makes a huge difference. Don't write "Do Taxes" on a Post-It, or as an item on a To-Do list, or an entry in your calendar, and don't tell your brother you can't go to a movie with him because you have to "do taxes." If you wanted to do your taxes, you would have done them, so write, "SAVE YOUR ASS FROM AN AUDIT" on your calendar, and tell your brother you're "avoiding going to jail for tax evasion," because those are things you want to do.

Will it take longer? Yep. Might it be embarrassing? I guess. But we lose far more time and respect by beating ourselves up for the same struggles over and over and over again. Just like routines, you may find it easier to complete novel tasks after you've clarified why they matter and eliminated those that don't. But if it doesn't get easier, there's more you can do, and it's not even hard. I can almost guarantee that what you're doing now that isn't working is harder. But changing things takes effort, so again, don't give up — even if you struggle. Remember that struggles have objectives that can be reached, which ends the struggle. That means when you're struggling, you're still in the game, and on the way to a win. Struggling sucks, but what we're trying to avoid is burnout — the paralysis, numbness, isolation, and resignation that comes from giving up on what matters to you — so here's something you can do.

First, put all of the tasks into one list or, if it makes more sense based on the tasks or how your time is divided, put them into two lists. And do that however you want — in a neat computer document or scattered on separate pieces of colored paper — but get that chaos out of your head again. Your brain is not a To-Do list; it's a processing center, but it can't do anything with that jumble of random obligations, expectations, fears, and regrets, so offload the damn data. It's not your fault that this part of your life is messy, just like it's not a 5-foot tall person's fault that they can't reach the top shelf in the grocery store. But if that's you, your choices are to go without whatever's on that top shelf, or figure something out to get it. I don't want you to go without, and I want you to figure out on your own terms how to do what you want to get done, so take one of those little foldable steps to the grocery store if you're petite, and if your life is chaotic because you aren't doing what matters to you to do, make the lists, and title them "Work" and "Home," or "Me" and "The Kids/Family," or "Should" and "Must," or "Uh Oh" and "Oh Shit."

Then, even if your lists are separated by urgency, prioritize whatever tasks are on them with some visual cue. Highlight them with different colors or, use symbols for tasks with High Importance, Medium Importance, and Low Importance. The next part will vary depending on how you schedule your time, so make the following strategy work for you, and if you can't figure out how, comment on this episode and I'll give you some guidance. However you spend time trying to complete tasks, change it up by setting aside regular time for each list. These will become their own routines, which may happen every morning and again every afternoon, or just during short windows of time, a couple of nights a week, or two weekend days a month, depending on what's on your list, how urgent the tasks are, and your other time commitments.

It's not about creating a perfect system; it's about giving your brain the most possible wins by reducing decision fatigue, claiming and using your agency to do what matters to you, and getting bursts of dopamine for doing those things, which makes it easier to do them again. However you set up your routine or routines for completing novel tasks, you will always use that time to work on your prioritized list in this order: High Importance first, Medium Importance next, and Low Importance last. This isn't just some idea that I think makes the most sense. There's a reason for this strategy that is backed by empirical evidence and works for all types of brains.

Remember, the lists only include tasks you haven't been able to complete, so if something really important is on one of your lists, you clearly aren't very motivated to do it — even if you kind of want to do it and are clear on why it matters to you. So we are going to use our brain functioning to our advantage by incorporating the Premack Principle. The Premack Principle is a proven psychological theory of reinforcement, which is just another way to understand the "wins" that come from the brain's neurochemical reward system, that we know has an even greater influence on most neurodivergent people. Using the Premack Principle involves doing tasks in reverse order of what we want or are motivated to do, because our brains are rewarded for doing the less desired tasks by doing the more desired tasks, regardless of whether we really like or are motivated to do any of them.

Yeah, that was wordy, even for me, so let's go through a simple example. If you need to clean your bathroom sink, your tub, and your toilet, how would you rank them in order of what you want to do? Let's say you identify cleaning the sink as the most desirable of those tasks, even though there are obviously many things you'd much rather do. Next is cleaning the toilet, which you think is gross, but better than cleaning the tub because that takes forever and it's so uncomfortable to be on your knees, bent over the side, scrubbing it. Following the Premack Principle, you will do them in reverse order — so tub, toilet, sink — and here's what happens, based on research: After you clean the tub, being off your knees cleaning the toilet with the long brush is enjoyable compared to what you were just doing, so you get a burst of dopamine and a "win." When you're done with the toilet and move on to the sink, you get an even bigger chemical reward and win, because this is not gross — or at least not toilet gross — and it's the easiest, quickest, and last task, so it feels like a reward for having done the other tasks.

Once again, that's science, not trickery. Your brain wants to be rewarded, and you know how to reward it, so reward it — but not the way you have been, because those rewards have been followed by the punishment of shame, self-criticism, and struggles that don't come to an end. That's because when we don't understand the ways our brains work — especially the aspects of our brain functioning that diverge from what is typical, expected, and experienced by the neurotypical majority — spending so much energy trying to do things like everyone else predisposes us to lunge — unconsciously and desperately — for the fastest, most frequent, most reliable bursts of dopamine available. That's how we end up doing things all day, every day, but somehow not doing the things that are most important to do.

I know it seems impossible to believe that doing your taxes, making that difficult phone call, or tackling your absolute least favorite household chore, can compete with the drive you feel to just touch up that chipped paint real quick, or finally purge and reorganize your sock drawer, or make your partner's favorite cookies before they get home. But I promise, if you don't give up, you'll start to look forward to your routine of completing whatever novel tasks are on deck, because your neurodivergent brain will be rewarded MOST when you're doing only what matters to you, and getting the most important of those things done first — without wasting time and energy deciding if and when you're going to do them, then beating yourself up, apologizing for, and trying to change something that is NOT wrong with you. That will leave you with so much more time and energy to do things you want to do. And even more importantly, it's the real path to the kind of happiness and ease most neurodivergent people are trying to achieve all our lives, but think we can only reach when we change ourselves enough. That's NOT science; it's bullshit, so leave it behind.

Until next time, remember: You don't have to change yourself to deserve happiness or success. Being who you are isn't the problem; it's the solution. I'm rooting for you — exactly as you are. I'll see you soon.